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Take a break... relax your mind... have a good laugh...
Showing posts with label Laugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laugh. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
ALL WOMEN WANT... NOT MUCH
That's all Women want.....
... Plain look husband
... normal simple ring
... small wedding party
... honeymoon at any place
... small house for the kids to run around
... lovely children
... husband is a family man
... but work hard
... small car for shopping
... another car for kids
... some collections
... shoes for each occasion
... some nice outfits
... a bit of cosmetics
... a bit of makeup
... overseas trip once a year
... more often on domestic trips
... dinners
... Presents occasionally
... finally, some securities.
... Plain look husband
... normal simple ring
... small wedding party
... honeymoon at any place
... small house for the kids to run around
... lovely children
... husband is a family man
... but work hard
... small car for shopping
... another car for kids
... some collections
... shoes for each occasion
... some nice outfits
... a bit of cosmetics
... a bit of makeup
... overseas trip once a year
... more often on domestic trips
... dinners
... Presents occasionally
... finally, some securities.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
RESERVATION 'TISSUE' INCIDENT
For 2010, we should take the step to spread the idea that tissues used to reserve are not acceptable. Only personal items such as umbrella / cardigan / newspaper etc are ok.
Reservation 'Tissue' Incident - Today, 04:23 AM
I was at Century Square FoodCourt and as usual there is a lunch time crowd. Many tables were reserved with packets of tissue or umbrellas. I witnessed an incident which i can't help but applaud the students who came up with the ultimate revenge on those selfish tissue reserve tactics. The 2 boys, with their food trays, removed the tissues from the empty table seats and sat next to the table to mine and when on with their meals. After a while, a group of ladies came back to the table where the boys are eating their meals and demand that they vacate the seats from the table because the table is already reserved. One of the boys, held up a packet of tissue and very politely told one of the more aggressive ladies that if any one of them in the group is named Ms NTUC, then he will vacate the table. He stood his ground and i can't help but laughed. The boys stood their ground and gamely when on with their meals while giving no two hoots to the ladies.BRAVO to the two students and i have since adopt the tactics once and may i add that i have been successful too.
Reservation 'Tissue' Incident - Today, 04:23 AM
I was at Century Square FoodCourt and as usual there is a lunch time crowd. Many tables were reserved with packets of tissue or umbrellas. I witnessed an incident which i can't help but applaud the students who came up with the ultimate revenge on those selfish tissue reserve tactics. The 2 boys, with their food trays, removed the tissues from the empty table seats and sat next to the table to mine and when on with their meals. After a while, a group of ladies came back to the table where the boys are eating their meals and demand that they vacate the seats from the table because the table is already reserved. One of the boys, held up a packet of tissue and very politely told one of the more aggressive ladies that if any one of them in the group is named Ms NTUC, then he will vacate the table. He stood his ground and i can't help but laughed. The boys stood their ground and gamely when on with their meals while giving no two hoots to the ladies.BRAVO to the two students and i have since adopt the tactics once and may i add that i have been successful too.
Friday, January 8, 2010
A JOKE TO CHEER YOU UP ON FRIDAY
How to know the gender of A Fly (Encore)
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
' What are you doing? ' She asked.
' Hunting Flies ' He responded.!
' Oh. ! Killing any? ' She asked.
' Yep, 3 males, 2 Females, ' he replied. 
Intrigued, she asked.
' How can you tell them apart? '
He responded, 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone
Have A Wonderful Day !!!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
CLEVER WIFE
Lovely husband and wife conversation.
Husband say "HD TV very good lah"
Wife say "if you want to buy I lend you money hor"
The husband puzzled and scratch his head... "We both watching TV... wow I have to borrow money from her to buy mah?" haha... haha...
Husband say "HD TV very good lah"
Wife say "if you want to buy I lend you money hor"
The husband puzzled and scratch his head... "We both watching TV... wow I have to borrow money from her to buy mah?" haha... haha...
要教中國人學馬來語,其實不難!
要教中國人學馬來語,其實不難. 請看 :
1叫 : 殺兔
2叫 : 乳鵝
3叫 : 地瓜
4叫 : 安排
5叫 : 你媽
6叫 : 安南
7叫 : 毒酒
8叫 : 拉板
9叫 : 森美蘭
10叫 : 石埔路
還有
大叫 : 不殺
小叫 : 割雞
死叫 : 抹地
吃叫 : 馬肝
洗叫 : 豬雞
要叫 : 貓
不要叫 : 打貓
謝謝叫 : 帶你媽看戯
傳給好朋友吧......讓他們笑一笑這個冷笑話......我想我覺得應該可以減輕壓力吧！
1叫 : 殺兔
2叫 : 乳鵝
3叫 : 地瓜
4叫 : 安排
5叫 : 你媽
6叫 : 安南
7叫 : 毒酒
8叫 : 拉板
9叫 : 森美蘭
10叫 : 石埔路
還有
大叫 : 不殺
小叫 : 割雞
死叫 : 抹地
吃叫 : 馬肝
洗叫 : 豬雞
要叫 : 貓
不要叫 : 打貓
謝謝叫 : 帶你媽看戯
傳給好朋友吧......讓他們笑一笑這個冷笑話......我想我覺得應該可以減輕壓力吧！
Friday, October 23, 2009
MORNING MOTIVATION
Have a wonderful week-end and always remember that God loves you.
Morning MotivationWhen I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
AND NOT TO FORGET THE CARPET THAT SAID.......
KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY.
Carry a Heart that Never Hates.Carry a Smile that Never Fades.
Carry a Touch that Never Hurts.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
SOME EXAMPLE OF GETTING OLD
Seems like only yesterday...
BARBIE DOLL has her 50th birthday this year...
TWEETY BIRD is 60 years old!
And what about all our other...
CHILDHOOD SUPERHEROES?
SUPERMAN
THOR
WONDER WOMAN (touch of menopause here I think?)
BATMAN AND ROBIN
SPIDERMAN
"Life is short, break the rules, forgive sooner, love with true love, laugh without control and always keep smiling.
Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting, but in the mean time, we ' re here and we can still dance....."
Growing old is not for whimps.....Jock Smith & Bette Davis
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
MEN==MEN==MEN
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like.....
Men are like.....
1. Men are like... Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like... Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like... Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like... Blenders. You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like... Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like... Department Stores. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like... Government Bonds. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like... Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like... Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like... Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like... Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like... Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
LIFE IN SINGAPORE
LiFe in SiNgApOre... very stressfull, must learn all the abbreviations!
In Singapore , the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), and most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).
Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).
If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get more from you.
So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?
With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA), Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB).
And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH).
You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund.
If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you, and you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).
To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE).
If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads.
If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT), OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).
Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!
In Singapore , the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), and most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).
Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).
If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get more from you.
So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?
With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA), Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB).
And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH).
You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund.
If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you, and you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).
To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE).
If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads.
If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT), OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).
Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apple s.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apple s.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh.
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